Pls ignore my previous stupid post. I dono what the hell i was thinking when I was writting that post. Perhaps I am just thinking and missing some of my old friends.

Actually well.. I am not that "pathetic" la. I still have friends around whom care. Maybe just that at times I am not that good at expressing myself or perhaps I should say I do not like my friends to know my problems. I am a weirdo. I hope to have friends who can share my joys and sorrows but most of the times I do not wish to let them know what kind of problems I am having. Perhaps "pride" is the factor which have been making myself so miserable.

I tend to only share my joy and happiness to my family and friends, but when facing problems, I will only keep it to myself. I always appear happy, contented infront of others, but no one ever knows what kind of problems i am facing. Even when blogging, when I am upset, i really wish to write all those unhappiness out, but i did not or maybe i had typed hundred of words about the thing happened, but I don't have the courage to post it, i will just ctrl A and delete.

But anyway I am still doing fine now. Maybe because of him...and also my family.

I am glad all these times he is always by my side. Even when we quarrelled, i told him i need time alone, he will tell me "I won't leave you alone. I will sit by one corner, won't make a single sound, won't talk, won't disturb you. So pls do not ask me to leave you alone here "

There was a period when I am suffering from serious depression. He was the one who did not look down at me, he was the one who encourage me to see doctor, he was the one who do not care how others would look / think of him and accompanied me to every doctor visits. He was the one who make sure I had eaten my medicine every night. He was the one who always calm me down when I am feeling tense up.

Though sometimes he do things which really make me upset / pissed off, but he will apologise, he will try his best to change. He even created a message in his saved item, listing all the things he done which made me angry and will oftenly go through that list to remind himself. Lol. But i do not know why i did not see that message in his handphone anymore liao. Maybe he think that he is confident in remembering that list, so he deleted it. Or maybe he think that he is already perfect liao, so he do not need those reminder again. =.=

He issn't the perfect man, but I believe he will try his best to be my perfect man.

I love you... and I love my family... and i love my friends.

Friends?

I really envy those who are millions of friends who care so much for them, those who have close friends who are willing to lend their ears when you need them, those who have friends who can accompany them when they are feeling upset.

I used to have such a life too. Had friends who are willing to accompany throughout the whole night, had friends to chat through phone almost every night, had someone to call when I need help or upset... But those were all the past. My best friend is far away in aussie, another two are busying with their families and children but i seldom share problems with these two friends, i am more to listener role. I do not like to talk to them abt my problems, cause their thinkings are way too different from me, they solve problems by drinking, drunking... They won't patiently sit down and listen to your problems, they will prolly ask you to drink more, don't think too much. So i would rather be the one listening than talking.

Friends are limited now. Those who are willing to listen are even more rare now.

Sigh

Met up with Dellas, Lai and Ken for lunch today. Went down all the way to East Coast for a super bo-hua lunch.

Ala Carte lunch buffet ard $30 each... the dishes sucks to the max. Abalone small like dono wad, shark fin majiam plain water. Definately not worth the price lo. Felt cheated. Lols.

No chance to snap any pics cos Darling Kayden not in mood today, me and hubbie took turns to entertain him and carry him around. Shag.

Anyway, Christmas still not very fine today. Restless still. I fed him food and treats, he used his head and pushed my hands away. Then i tried feeding him some greens, he started to eat. Although i don't have the habit of feeding them with green but no choice, I have to get Christmas eating, his poos very small. And I am worried that he is not drinking too, so vege is the best solution i can think of. But later in evening, i gave him green he rejected again. Sigh.

Hope he will be just fine

Its been 2 days since Christmas came back from his operation. He issn't eating much at all, still feeling restless. I am worried that he can't endure the pain and couldn't make it.

Had a bad quarrel with hubbie yesterday. Very angry lo! He shouted at me leh, in public somemore.. just because of the word "common sense"

And i thought he purposely dont want to eat the 2 dishes i cooked for dinner yesterday, "紅燒排骨" and steam meat in Balsam Pear "苦瓜蒸 肉". I purposely cook that 苦瓜 for him de cos recently he's having painful ulcer in his mouth then he never even bother to touch it. Dam angry lo. But later he explained to me saying that he never eat cos because of his ulcer, too painful to chew on meat. -.-"

Anyway that's over. We are ok already. Haha

Brought Christmas down to vet for his sterlisation operation today. Felt abit sad when sending him in. Vet called just now, saying his surgery was done and he just woke up. Can collect him anytime after lunch hour. Setting off to pick him up in half an hr time. Have to wake up the pig who is still sleeping now.

Eve already had her spaying done few days back and she is recovering pretty fast.

Reason why I sterilised my two buns because... of their serious urine stain on their body. The horny male kept want to hump the female and the female pissed off, sprayed her urine all over on the male body. So no choice, have to "ka-cha" the male.. as for female, heard that they will live longer if spayed. Removing her ovaries and uterus will decrease the chances of getting cancer i think. Same as dogs i think.

Ok i think i better wake that pig up liao.

Btw anyone have good ulcer medicine to reco? Hubbie suffering slpless night due to his painful ulcer on his tongue.