Simply-XUE

Pls ignore my previous stupid post. I dono what the hell i was thinking when I was writting that post. Perhaps I am just thinking and missing some of my old friends.

Actually well.. I am not that "pathetic" la. I still have friends around whom care. Maybe just that at times I am not that good at expressing myself or perhaps I should say I do not like my friends to know my problems. I am a weirdo. I hope to have friends who can share my joys and sorrows but most of the times I do not wish to let them know what kind of problems I am having. Perhaps "pride" is the factor which have been making myself so miserable.

I tend to only share my joy and happiness to my family and friends, but when facing problems, I will only keep it to myself. I always appear happy, contented infront of others, but no one ever knows what kind of problems i am facing. Even when blogging, when I am upset, i really wish to write all those unhappiness out, but i did not or maybe i had typed hundred of words about the thing happened, but I don't have the courage to post it, i will just ctrl A and delete.

But anyway I am still doing fine now. Maybe because of him...and also my family.

I am glad all these times he is always by my side. Even when we quarrelled, i told him i need time alone, he will tell me "I won't leave you alone. I will sit by one corner, won't make a single sound, won't talk, won't disturb you. So pls do not ask me to leave you alone here "

There was a period when I am suffering from serious depression. He was the one who did not look down at me, he was the one who encourage me to see doctor, he was the one who do not care how others would look / think of him and accompanied me to every doctor visits. He was the one who make sure I had eaten my medicine every night. He was the one who always calm me down when I am feeling tense up.

Though sometimes he do things which really make me upset / pissed off, but he will apologise, he will try his best to change. He even created a message in his saved item, listing all the things he done which made me angry and will oftenly go through that list to remind himself. Lol. But i do not know why i did not see that message in his handphone anymore liao. Maybe he think that he is confident in remembering that list, so he deleted it. Or maybe he think that he is already perfect liao, so he do not need those reminder again. =.=

He issn't the perfect man, but I believe he will try his best to be my perfect man.

I love you... and I love my family... and i love my friends.