Sad and disappointed

Just woke up from a nap. Opps! Hee. And i'm very hungry. =/

Just now hubbie told me, some of his relatives kept requesting photos of kayden from him, then suddenly i got a new idea. I've decided to create a blog just for Kayden, there will be photos, updates on his growth, etc... Need some time for the blog, will update you all when the blog is done.

I realised something, something cruel in this realistic world. Why am I always the unlucky one to have such mishap? Why is such things only happened around me? Why is it so hard to find one true friend / maintain a friendship?

Felt very hurt, the one whom i used to care alot, the closest to me, the one whom understand me the most... is avoiding me. Few days back, i'm not feeling very ok. I need someone to talk, so i sms-ed him, asking if he is free for a talk. But till now, no reply from him.

I kept find excuses for his action, maybe he changed new handphone number, maybe he's not in Singapore hence did not rec'd my smses? Maybe he's so busy with work that he couldn't even reply my smses? Haha, i'm just decieving myself. The actual fact is he do not treat me as friend anymore.

Actually this person is my ex. We were friends, good friends after our relationship came to a end. He told me, he will be my friend forever and asked me to sms me whenever I need someone. He told me before, even me and him were no longer together, we both will be friends forever. All are simply lies. I am simply naive to believe all his words. Haha i'm such a loser.

Because of him, I've lost alot of friends. These people never contact me anymore after i broke off with him. A few of them were my "advisors" or should say "consultants". When i was feeling down, i looked for them. We met up together for meals, went out together even without my ex. But now, haha, they do not treat me as friend anymore. Just a awkward "hi" or "bye" to me when we saw each other.

Friends getting lesser and lesser. And i've realised.. when i need someone to talk to, there's no one on my mind. It is not that I do not have trusted friends, just that hmm, i do not want to disturb them with my rantings. Actually there's only one person whom always appear in my mind when i'm in trouble, my dearest mei, Yijing. But she's not contactable, only thru emails. She never log in her msn anymore. Last heard from her, she's having difficulties in coping with her homeworks, busying pa-toring, also busy working as part timer at her dad's company. So i do not want to add on my problems to her anymore.

It seems that my best friend now is only him... my dearest hubbie. Haha. He understands me very well, he don't mind listen to my rantings, he calm me down, he give me very good advises. Without him, i think i might have already given up in life.

Friends come and go. I used to quarrel with my family because of my friends. And i deeply regretted it. Only family are the one whom you can trust the most, maybe only your family will be only the faithful ones who will be by you when you are having problems. Love them, treasure them when you still can.

Just rec'd a msn message from yuan.. reminding me to go for his birthday party tmr. Hahas. Buay tahan lea, he never give address, never give timing, how he want us to be there. =x

Anyway an advance wishing for you... Happy 21st birthday!

And sad la... i've got alot of homeworks to do. Fuck. I'm already a mother of one, i'm still nagging about my homework right here in my blog. Duhz. Embarassing lea.

And my lil cousin laughed at me, when i told her i busy with homework and having exams in dec when she asked me to go birdpark. Zzz...

ok.. Off to my textbook -.-